He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
