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• (214): View more from Texas

  She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love

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• (214): View more from Texas

  So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time

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• (206): View more from Washington

  That's why there are breakfast margaritas.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.

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• (585): View more from New York

  It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!

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