Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
