***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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