Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This baby is an asshole
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
