What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
