trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Panties = found
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
