I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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