don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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