its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize