I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
