I think I won the penis lottery.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
