Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
