i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I see more hoeing in ur future
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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