Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
There are leaves in my underwear?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
