JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
