OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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