I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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