Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
