I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
