maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
