I just threw up on my dentist
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
