What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize