they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
