oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
