I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
