Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
