I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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