I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
