I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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