he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
dude. I can hear the air.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
