I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
