apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Even the bartender felt bad for me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's blow job season.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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