mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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