Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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