plz talk dirty to me
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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