Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
