Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
where am i from again
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
