Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
