do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
