He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
