Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
