you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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