i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
