The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
