You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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