now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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