'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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