I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
