I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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