i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
