How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize