Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you had me at cake vodka
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
