Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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