she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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