oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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