i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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