My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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