she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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