i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
