Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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